I have a daughter. She’s 2 and a half years old, wears pink dresses and wants nothing more than to wear my bright red lipstick every day. My daughter proclaims herself as the princess of the house at least three times a day and adores her father more than anything. She is the proud owner of three pink rabbits who are all conveniently called Nino. She feeds them, puts them to bed and always insists on taking at least one with of them every time we leave the house. Her fingernails are usually pink.
It’s safe to say that in her world, everything is pink.
My daughter looks like a little angel. She has little blonde curls cascading down her back. It makes her look so innocent. However, I’m the only one that knows just how sly she can be. She’s smart too, so nobody can easily fool my daughter. Even though she’s young, she knows what she wants and won’t stop going after it until she gets it. She has a wonderful sense of humor and she’s always smiling.
To me, she’s absolutely perfect.
And it terrifies me.
Because the real world isn’t pink at all.
Every time I watch the news I can feel my heart dropping. How will my perfect princess survive this world? Is this a world I want my children to grow up in? Do I want them to be a part of this mad society? How do I shelter them from the madness that has become our every day life? I’m not sure if I can. I fear that there are just certain things you cannot hide them from.
The only thing I can do is to try to teach my kids about life. So here I write an honest, open letter to my sweet baby girl as she enters the real world someday.
To My Precious Daughter:
My darling girl, I have never seen you sad. From the day that you were born, you’ve had a smile on your face. I knew this even before I met you. When I felt you doing summersaults inside my growing belly, I knew that you were going to be a bundle of pure joy.
Sure, there were times you were disappointed because there was no chocolate for dinner. But your spirits never stayed down.
And I love you for it.
In your world, true sadness does not exist. No sorrow, nor grief.
There is only happiness, dancing, and laughter. Every day is a party. From the moment your eyes open in the morning, they shine. I’ve seen you fall asleep with a smile on your face.
In you, I see so much of myself and I wish I could teach you everything I know. I wish I could stop you from making the mistakes I made.
I want to protect you from everything. There is so much about life that I want you to know.
And I want you to know that bad things can happen.
The bad things in life are inevitable. Even though most of the time you will not be permanently harmed by tragic events, you could one day face danger and be emotionally or physically harmed. I want you to know that you are resilient. You are going to weather the storms you face, because you are strong. I can see the strength in your eyes already. You are so fierce, you take on every confrontation and you always seem to know just what to do.
I want you to know that you will get hurt.
There will be times you are hurting so badly that you won’t want to get up in the mornings. I want you to know that you can always get back up. No matter how hard you fall, you can always choose to get back up. You are already so determined. If you want something, you will keep trying until you succeed. Even if you fall off that chair nine times and have to climb back up ten more times, you never stop until you have what you want. Keep up that spirit.
I want you to know that people will try to bring you down.
For whatever reason, people will try to make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t listen to them, always listen to yourself instead. Never let the confidence you have in yourself fade away. Always trust in yourself, because you are worth all the love in the world and no one should be able to determine your self- worth, but you.
I want you to know that you will be disappointed.
There will be times you will want to cry because you didn’t get what you wanted. Someone, something or even life itself may let you down. Don’t let this stop you from hoping. Keep the faith, stay hopeful and never lose your trust in others or yourself. Try to always find the good in any every situation and be grateful for the blessings you have.
I want you to know that you can be anything you want to be.
Dream big little princess. You don’t have to be tied down to a glass ceiling. Follow your heart! You are so little, yet no one is going to stand in your way when you want something. Use that ability to achieve what you want in life. You can do anything you put your mind to.
I want you to know that you will be angry.
Someone will wrong you, or you might stumble upon great injustice. You might feel sudden rage. Let it come. Observe it, give voice to your opinion, be respectful and let it go. Anger is good, but holding grudges will only hurt you in the end. So pour your heart out and set it free.
I want you to know that you will be sad.
You might not be able to stop crying and you will fall asleep with big red puffy eyes. Know that the sadness will pass. Feel it, take it in and release it. The pain will fade away. You will dry your tears and sadness with it, and you will be happy again. Give yourself time and space to move on and trust that you will see better days.
Lastly, I want you to know that you don’t have to do this alone.
This world can be a big bad place, but it is also a beautiful place. This world allows us to enjoy the simplest things that can bring the greatest joys. It’s a place where we can dance, sing, enjoy good food, lay on the grass for hours and talk about nothing. A place we can laugh hysterically because we’re making silly faces. It’s a place where love thrives, and families stick up for one another to protect the ones we love.
But most importantly, despite how terrible the world can be, remember that I will be your mother forever. I will love you forever and I will hold you in my arms forever.
Past the pain, shame, disappointment, anger and the sadness you may experience, know that at the end of the day, love is all that we are left with in this world.
Written By: Alyssa Demkes
Dutch girl Alyssa is a yoga instructor and a mother of two beautiful children. She also enjoys reading english classics and philosophy books. (You’ll often find her in dusty old bookstores) If she’s not there, she’s probably in the kitchen preparing healthy and delicious food for her family. For Alyssa, perfect happiness is sharing a home cooked meal with her loved ones. She shares her discoveries and thoughts on her personal blog and is happy to also share the love via Happygirl Yoga.