6 Types of Friends to Let Go

One of the greatest abilities of growing older (and wiser) is being able to pick and choose the people we can surround ourselves with.  However, it may not always be easy as we become so accustomed to being around the folks we’ve become too familiar with.  Or perhaps they’re family members or people that run in the same social circles.  Whatever the reasons are, once in awhile we have to re-evaluate these relationships and think about who and what matters most to us and why. 
                                                                                    
It may be difficult, but if there are friendships that are constantly weighing you down or taking up too much space in your life, it may be time to reconsider the amount of time and effort you should be investing into this relationship.  After all, life is short and we should only be surrounding ourselves with people that enrich our lives, not bring us down.

Here are a few important traits you should consider:
  
They are never happy for your success.
You received the promotion of your dreams and found the love of your life, yet your friend has never once been excited or happy for you.  Sure, it’s always normal to feel pangs of jealousy, but a true friend knows to work these feelings out to put them aside and feel happiness instead.  Sometimes being there for a friend through the good times may be more difficult than being there through the bad times, but as we grow older we have to understand that maintaining friendships require sacrifice, work, and a deeper level of understanding.    
 
You feel constantly judged.
Even when you make a decision that you’re happy with, you constantly feel judged and unsupported.  You always have to explain yourself through every decision but feel uncomfortable about expressing your voice because they always have a counter opinion. They’re constantly placing themselves above you, providing unsolicited advice that feels demeaning and judgmental. Friends are side-by-side companions and should create a safe place for you to talk to them about your thoughts and decisions.  Though no two people will always see everything eye-to-eye, true friends will understand that and support the decisions that truly makes you happy. 

They take zero interest in what’s really happening your life.
If you find that every time you meet up with a friend and all that happens is gossip, it may be time to reconsider the amount of time spent with this person.  When gossip is what is holding the relationship together, the friendship really serves no value.  Friends take interest in each other’s lives, stories, and what they are going through.   They make it a point to ask about what’s happening in your life, family, jobs, and other things that are important to you. 
 
They talk negatively about everyone.
Mark these words: If they’re talking negatively about their friends, they are talking negatively about you too.  Sure, it’s always normal to vent once in awhile about an argument or a fight they may had with someone else, but if they’re constantly speaking negatively of others to you, tell them you’d rather discuss something else.  As we grow older, the high school mentality of releasing our emotions instantly and constantly harming people’s image behind their backs is tacky and no longer acceptable.   
 
The Leecher.
Yes, we should always be generous about money with the people we love, but there’s a big difference between being generous and being taken advantage of.  If there is a friend that never offers to pay for anything or constantly borrows money and never pays you back, it’s time to let go.  Perhaps this was acceptable in our 20s but as we grow older (and won’t forget to say, wiser), understanding the value of money is an essential responsibility.  When we are not considerate with money, we inconvenience our family and friends and place them in awkward situations. 
 
There is no sense of loyalty.
With love, there is loyalty.  Loyalty is that silent agreement between two people understanding that they have each other’s backs.  They’ll stand up for you and be there to the best of their ability through the good times and the bad.  Understanding loyalty comes with age, but I truly believe this is the most essential element in determining a person’s true character.  Without loyalty, it is impossible to sustain a healthy, long-lasting friendship.
 
It is probably likely that all of us have at least a couple friends in our lives that weigh us down in certain ways, as listed above.  Though it is important to give people second chances, it’s also important to take care of yourself to make sure you are surrounded by the right people.  It may be hard to distance yourself from these toxic friends completely, but re-evaluating the relationship and acknowledging that change needs to happen is the biggest step to take.   

It’s okay to love them from a distance and wish them nothing but the best.  Who knows, maybe with some time the friendship could be rekindled again?  The beauty of this life is that people always have the ability to change over time.  But perhaps it is not the place and time for them to be present in your life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  

Written By:  Kristen Hwang
500 RYT, Prenatal yoga teacher, Founder of Happygirl Yoga